Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Take me back

Remember me?
I know, I've been away on an extended break, I said I'd be right back but I got caught up. It was quite mad actually, I just decided that while I was out anyway that I might as well not bother going down the pub and while I wasn't at the pub I decided not to have a pint. You know the story, not having one pint leads to not having another pint and then not another and before you know it, it's Christmas and your not getting pissed all over the show, not waking up with less than perfect liver function and definitely not worrying about driving in the mornings.
But I'm back now, mainly due to my Mum, Paddy, Spank, Toby, Ryans and everyone else who's been commenting on the recent lack of posts. So thanks to you for encouraging me to reach for the quill again. And everyone else? What the jeff are you doing that's so important that your not checking this blog everyday? You want workin' on.
I would also like to thank everyone who has sponsored me too, so far the total is £616, there have been some very generous sponsors and I'm very grateful for every penny. Thank you all very much!
I also want to mention Ol' Spank at this point, in my last post (24th of August!) I mentioned that he had decided to join me for a month of abstinence in September. Well, he did join me and he raised £330! BRAVO!!! Well done cock!

So onto the topic of how this is actually going. Well... It's actually going pretty good! It's been 5 months now and I haven't once been tempted to have a drink, I have enjoyed the occasional smell of someones pint but that's pretty much it. I still sometimes buy wine for cooking and there are several bottles of spirits in the fridge but, surprisingly I've never been tempted. I'm quite astonished at how easy this actually is, it doesn't feel as though I've had to apply and great will power or summon some deep inner strength, just don't drink. Simple as that. Now if only I could apply the same logic to my habits of driving the wrong way down the motorway and setting fires in post box's I'd be a much better person.
As you can imagine I'm not particularly enthused about spending time down the pub at the moment, it's still quite alien to be ordering a brew or a lime and soda for George and for me. I often wonder what the barman or the other patrons think of me, sitting there with my non alcoholic beverage, I wonder if their judging me, do they think I'm on medication? An alcoholic on the wagon? Probably nothing, like I do if I see other people with a soft drink, who cares?
I did go on my works doo recently though, I dread the Christmas works doo. So much so I decided last year that I wouldn't go and probably wouldn't go on one again. The preparations for the Christmas doo kick off around September, with tales of how pissed everyone got last year, who shagged who, who fought who and who was fired as a result of their escapades. Once these anecdotes have been exaggerated and stretched and had every last drip of entertainment wrung from their limp humourless bodies, descisions are made in ernest about where we're going this year and "how we can top last year". Then after more than 3 months of planning the day of the doo arrives and everyone realises how shit it is going to be and how much they despises their colleagues. So, as alcohol is well know as a catalyst for having a good time everyone gets tre pissed. They argue, fight, disgrace themselves, get thrown out and so on. The morning of the return to work is particularly low on eye contact particularly high on rumours. Several people are absent from their posts, some never to return. As the days and weeks pass by and bruises heal, insults are forgotten and genital herpes clears up, everyone don's their rose tinted's and begins to reminisce about how wonderful a night they had and how great next year will be. FUCK OFF!!!

But at risk of making myself look like a tit who contradicts himself at every turn, I had a great time at my works doo this year! Mainly because my colleagues are my friends and I do choose to spend time with them outside work anyway, because I like them. We went for dinner at Jamie's Italian which was very nice, and very easy to enjoy without drink. Then......
We went to luck voice. If you haven't heard of that it's a Japanese style karaoke venue, not so easy to enjoy without drink. Or so I thought. In actual fact I had a great time, it maybe took me a little while longer to get up to the mic than it would have if I'd been drinking, but after half an hour I was loving it (if still a little self conscious) and to top it off I was absolutely sure when I woke up that I hadn't done anything sackable! Hurraahh!
Then came Christmas, my first dry Crimbo in? Probably 15 years. It was good though, we had a great time, I managed to stay awake all day Christmas day!

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